Country Boys versus City Boys

Posted on May 17, 2011 | 0 comments

Here’s a little comparison between country boys and city boys that I wrote up when the snow was blowing. I used it in the April Newsletter but thought posting it here would give it a wider audience. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it:

A city boy can tell the difference between a Honda Civic and a Subaru Impreza just by the sound of their exhaust.
A country boy can tell the difference between a John Deere and a CaseIH just by the sound of their exhaust.

A city boy’s dreams are filled with images of himself seated at the controls of a $400,000, 640hp Lamborghini Murcielago LP 640 taking a spin at 200mph.
A country boy’s dreams are filled with images of himself seated at the controls of a $400,000, 440hp John Deere 9870 STS (combine) taking a spin in a 200 bu/ac field of corn at 8mph.

A city boy’s introduction to s.e.x probably involved a glossy magazine or a picture filled internet site that his friends showed him.
A county boy’s introduction to s.e.x probably involved a glossy magazine or a picture filled internet site that his dad showed him while trying to select the perfect bull to mate with their “Excellent” cow.

A city boy likes to build his muscles and sweat while paying for the privilege at a gym.
A country boy likes to build his muscles and sweat while getting paid to work for a neighbour.

A city boy spends his teen years studying the female form until he can tell just by the markings on her clothing what part of the city a girl’s from and what her daddy does for a living.
A country boy spends his teen years studying the female form until he can tell just by the markings on her hide and her bone structure what bull she was sired by.

A city boy, upon arriving in the country takes a deep breath of “fresh” air and says, “Wow that stinks!”
A country boy, upon arriving in the city takes a deep breath of air and says, “Wow, that stinks!”

A country boy has likely smoked weeds with Round-up.
A city boy has likely smoked weed.

A country boy probably still has a cow named after his first girlfriend and she thought it was sweet.
You can bet a city boy no longer has a girlfriend if he named a cow after her.

A city boy can tell the difference between Axe and Old Spice by smell at five miles, probably because he’s worn both of them.
A country boy can tell the difference between bull crap and chicken crap by smell at five miles, probably because he’s worn both of them.

Author: Harry Stoddart, www.stoddart.ca, Twitter: @stoddartfarm

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